25 Desember Tahun Itu

Salah satu hari yang sampai saat ini paling aku sesali, hari ketika aku tidak turut hadir untuk menentang dosenku
Dosenku telah merenggut hak beragama rekan-rekanku
Secara sembunyi-sembunyi mencoreng nilai pancasila pasal satu sampai lima
Mengaku berkuasa bak titisan dewa dari surga

Dengan paksa ia putuskan 25 Desember tahun itu menjadi ajang ancaman IPK
Mahasiswa harus hadir! Atau mengulang tahun depan
Arogan sekali putusan busuk itu, lagak tangan kanan tuhan
Seperti selalu benar berdasarkan keadilan

Embel-embel musyawarah mencapi mufakat sebelum hari H, hanya menjadi ruang ancaman bagi rekan kristianiku
Permainan kotor pemangku takhta perguruan tinggi, penguji ruang sidang skripsi

Hina juga aku, harusnya kala itu ku dobrak pintu pertemuan diam-diam Sang Mahaguru dengan rekanku
Agar tidak pernah mencapai kata sepakat yang jelas-jelas berat sebelah

Saat itu aku sama seperti teman muslimku yang lain
Murka tak karuan, sebatas makian di belakang yang bahkan tak pernah sampai di telinga Sang Mahaguru
Perilaku kerdil mahasiswa yang dangkal  ilmu sekaligus penakut!
Itulah aku saat itu.

25 Desember tahun itu,
Rekan kristianiku bungkam.
Hadir bersama kami, memburu nilai formalitas
Sedang yang lain seperti buta, tuli, bisu atau hilang ingatan
Seperti tidak ada yang terjadi, seperti bukan dosa pribadi
Aku dengan jelas melihat kobaran emosi pada mata rekan-rekanku
Entah marah, duka atau kecewa. Tidak sanggup ditafsirkan
Tapi hari itu kepada kami mereka berbicara dengan damai selembut salju natal

Hina sekali aku dan Mahaguru,
Tapi aku dan mereka berbeda
Jika teringat 25 Desember tahun itu,
Aku merasa dosa,
Sedang dosenku mungkin tertawa.

Home

I know there's a place where she could see her mom and dad wake up & sleep
I know there's a place where food always served so she would not again starves
I know there's a place she grew a family tree with cares & loves

But mam...

I do too know there's a place where day & night she got accompanied
I do know there's a place she spread her wings working out of her dreams
And i know there's a place where her buddies extreamely good at making nightmares into jokes

It's not your fault if you never known
But i'm sorry,
Here... she's happy

Dreams

how to send your thoughts frequencies through your dreams?

a signal as close to a deity vision
or a devilish whisper

for some of us who love solitude
dreams are mystical way to communicate

because not like a postcard that could be saved and memorized
dreams are meant to be forgotten

i could send my thoughts to yours temporarily
without a bound necessarily involved

that way we could forever in solitary

now how to send my thoughts frequencies through your dreams?
no worry
all that i am and all that i ever was will all disappear

Lady of Eden

mama never asked me to be a billionaire
nor a president nor an astronaut or to be an engineer
She only asked me to finish my study so i cloud be anyone i pleased

She never asked me to build her a new fancy house to live in
She said to the rest of her life the house she fought for to build with her husband is more than just perfect

She calls me when i far away
And take the consequences to be alone day after day to see me graduate
And by knowing here i'am well and have a good life,
Her loneliness doesn't match to her happiness

And every time i asked what she was doing
She answered that she was watching television

She never buy some cloths, shoes or bags like she used to when she was younger
When papa could buy her some pair of those pretty things she likes

After papa's gone, She never put on make up ever since not even a lipstick
she said...
"Who would see me, if it's not your father?"

Why don't you just ask me something?
because i'd love to give you everything

I would like to be anything you want
I would build you fancy house with thousands of flowers around
I want to see you having a great holiday not just watching television
I want you to wear expensive branded clothes, shoes and bags, because you are still beautiful

Maybe you thought that someday i will marry a man and become someone's wife
Left you behind taking care of my own family
but if you just know what is my heart desire
I will forever want to be your daughter

Caterpillar

I heard caterpillar decides to begin her metamorphic phase when she could not bears tears any longer
That time she would wraps herself thread by thread to commit suicide
Dies in her own isolation, she makes a cocoon

To be not noticed, the silence she tried
Yet if your ears good enough, you would hear she cried
Every noon and every the light of moon

I wonder, what possibly made her sad?
Some say, it all the matter of love
She weep in a case of broken heart

And as the closest moment of final breath, as she comes into a near death
God would appears and wipe her tears
He would forgives and grant her apology

At the moment where all fully peace and heaven's beauty
He gives her wings and a reborn to gain more bliss

Thus every time she flies in every winds against
She would loosen her memories
So then, until the time has back to let her rest, she has completely forgotten the loved she had once

The butterflies mend to fly only to forget
Because without a love from anyone, she could joy her death back

Coincidence or Fate

coincidence or fate

dad indeed has gone
in a surprise death,
left us with so many questions...

coincidence or fate

left us with some promises which has broken
yet too left us one beautiful answer

"InshaAllah" dad's last hand writing was found on a piece of paper

Coincidence or fate

On his last breath, dad has paid his debt

Voynich Manuscript

your brain could not absorbs 2 opposite parts into result
that's why i am one of the living definition of Voynich Manuscript
One which no soul could ever decode

contains with colorful illustrations
yet blind with explanation
let it be in-understandable to nobody
acute to solitary on intense degree

What is the purpose in every line strokes written?
either it's a trick to look for those who hard enough after the answer,
or...
probably...
The writer eludes to be understood,

who knows?

The manuscript is happy to keep it remain mystery

I and the manuscript have some mutual similarities
We both chained to contrast dualism of translations
and love to the chaotic order
so none of your speculations could precisely guess
nor any rational accuses of science could finally interfere

Like me,
the name of the manuscript possessed, barely leads you to any sign of it's master identity
does not depict... not even close to validity
merely an allegorical disguise of ourselves
I and the manuscript will stand still to be anonymous

Because somehow, some parts of you restricts your instinct with what you call logic
so it's hard for you to accept something beyond to fit to your brain
and your calculation deems that this is nonsense 

yet we all acknowledge that one must lies his Eden's self 
somewhere in each flesh
Like the Voynich Manuscript,
the writer....
does exist

Hence, there's still a possibility to tracks the concepts of who i am



guess who